there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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