He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
