Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My Sexting was not on an AP level
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
