Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am midnight drunk by noon
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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