when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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