he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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