I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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