sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We have started to decorate penises.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
