I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
