Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
