just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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