This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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