i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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