Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
