I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
