so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
