He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
pop tarts are not kleenex
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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