I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
