just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
