I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This is my gift to your gina
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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