the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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