Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
