I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize