He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
