what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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