Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize