there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
