Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
