BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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