I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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