My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I believe in your delicious
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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