Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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