so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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