We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
