I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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