Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
