dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
