we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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