Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
