You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
