And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
