just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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