Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
