so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
