I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
