I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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