I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
