no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
