I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
