yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
