I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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