I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
