Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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