She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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