I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
