she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
