You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
