Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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